Being Gay in Men's Football: A Toxic Environment
“There's still so much to accomplish” - the athlete on homophobia in soccer
“You shouldn't exist” ... “What are you doing here?” ... “Stop breathing.”
After announcing he was gay in 2021, player the athlete has received daily death threats and hateful comments on online platforms.
“Upon reading those comments, I was devastated,” the player explains. “No-one wants to read things like that.
“I'm trying to get better as a player and be the best I can be on the pitch, and then get put down due to my identity. It's appalling.”
Player the sportsman was at Adelaide United back in 2020 when he became the only openly gay elite soccer player in the world.
This summer he departed from Australia to sign with lower-tier club Peterborough Sports, who compete before audiences of about 400 in the sixth division, the sixth tier of the English soccer system.
The 25-year-old balances his sports career for the semi-professional team by speaking up on LGBTQ+ issues and using his profile - boasting over a million followers on Instagram - to promote fairness and inclusion.
“Absolutely, we've got mountains to do,” the footballer comments when asked if football still has a problem with homophobia.
“Rarely a week passes without hearing about an issue.”
‘People want to harm me’
The player was raised in Melbourne
Several years passed for Cavallo to build up the bravery to say “I am homosexual” before coming out on October 27th, 2021.
“My only desire is play football and receive fair treatment,” he stated in an accompanying video.
The player was twenty-one and building his reputation at his Australian club in the premier division when, backed by his colleagues, he announced his orientation publicly.
“The future was uncertain. I had no expectations,” he recalls. “It felt like the right time in my life. I needed to move forward.”
The heartfelt revelation clip, titled ‘His Personal Story’, gained massive attention on digital platforms.
“My mobile phone exploded with messages of support. It was overwhelming.”
A prominent club were among numerous famous teams around the world to show solidarity with the player, with then manager the German manager saying: “I'm really thankful that he did it because it sparks conversation.”
Barcelona defender the athlete also offered support, posting online that “soccer culture is lagging behind and your actions drive progress”, while Adelaide United issued a statement supporting their “remarkable” and “brave” player.
Others, however, were less welcoming.
The footballer soon turned into a subject to anti-gay remarks by opposition fans.
During early 2022 a competing team were penalized A$5,000 over discriminatory chants from spectators aimed toward the player during a match.
“The things I'd hear were hurtful and disparaging towards LGBTQ people,” he explains.
“I remained calm because I knew that would only feed the haters.”
There was a frightening incident at a petrol station in Australia, where Cavallo was assaulted by an individual who identified him from the media attention.
“It was terrifying,” he recalls. “The thought crossed my mind ‘this is happening - people want to harm me’.
“Should this be tolerated? Absolutely not. But by coming out, these are the consequences.
“My wish is that the next person who comes out while playing football at a professional standard doesn't have to experience the path I have experienced.”
The player says the daily death threats and abusive messages have taken a toll on his mental health.
“It's disappointing because I am having to explain why I deserve a place on the soccer pitch for my identity,” he says.
“We don't sit straight people down and ask ‘why should you exist in football?’.
“Many individuals see me as a smiling, optimistic person. But sometimes when I rely on my partner, Leighton, and he witnesses a lot that happens behind the scenes.”
‘Top-tier athlete revealing orientation would create waves’
The player's choice to disclose his orientation helped inspire 17-year-old Blackpool forward Jake Daniels to come out as the UK's only openly gay playing soccer professional in spring 2022.
However, there are no openly gay or bisexual players in the top English division.
“It would create massive change,” says the footballer on the impact a Premier League player revealing their orientation would have.
“But I must be honest. There are a lot of scary things that would await this individual. In the world of football, being an openly gay player is a highly hostile environment.”
Twenty-seven years after a pioneering player - the UK's initial out soccer professional - died by suicide in 1998, Cavallo has discussed the “harmful male culture” that persists in men's football.
“You just need to go to a match and observe the unfriendly atmosphere and masculinity that the crowd brings,” he says.
“Much remains to be done to ensure there is a secure environment in football for individuals like me and Jake.
“We haven't seen it (more players coming out) as frequently as desired.
“I can only keep pushing for principles I believe in, and strive for taking out the toxic masculinity in football changing rooms and creating a safe space.”
‘I'm here to create change’
Cavallo received an honorary doctorate from Flinders University in his former city in 2022, recognising his contributions as a inspirational figure in athletics and a champion for equality
Cavallo says soccer has enabled discussions inside dressing rooms about coming out.
Yet, he is critical of Fifa, after the Middle Eastern nation, where same-sex relationships are illegal, hosted the men's World Cup in 2022.
Future World Cup will be held in Saudi Arabia, where homosexuality is also illegal.
“Do I approve that the global championship is in countries that ban gay unions, where individuals like myself will be imprisoned for just existing on that land? It's scary,” states Cavallo.
“I get messages [from people living in these countries] saying ‘I face imprisonment for my identity - can you help me?’.
“It's devastating that individuals are incarcerated for their true selves.
“There are countries that are significant soccer markets and they reject LGBTQ+ people. Those are the countries that often focus on me.”
Nevertheless, Cavallo says he won't cease advocating.
“Football has allowed me to start conversations in the changing room. It has allowed me to speak and inform individuals who want to learn more.
“Some will disapprove for who you are. But I have found my family. I have found my community.
“My mission is to drive progress. That's what I'm here for.”
